♥ MY LIFE & ♥ » Myy EVERYTHING «

End Of Everything

2008-12-18T00:58:00.002+08:00

3rd Dec
we went to night market at Taman Connaught. That day , i hold her hand along the streets. We coupled back that night . I was afraid to lose her again. i sworn to love her for all my life .i will protect her at all cost. wont make her sad anymore .

6th Dec
we always wanted to go clubbing together .that night , i waited at her hse .
she couldn't comes out coz her dad is around . So she's late .but i dun mind waiting . That night was very tired gone out Adidas's warehouse sales since morning n went WCG till evening .I m reli tired that night so i send her go all the way home n head back to my home . i was so sleepy that i keep closing my eye while driving . if i accident , i would reli died . was moving 90-100km/h.

11th Dec
she came back from Malacca trip on 10th . Its public holiday today , she wants to c me. so we went out to pyramid. Shops around 4+ we went back to my house . That day was terrible. She saw a gal name n num in my hp list . she got moody . What i had done is already passed , the important part is now. She intend to break up wit me .i keep begging n keep saying sry. i sweared i wont do wad i promised anymore . She don't blieve me . Even i cry for her badly . AT last she gav me a last chance. After that , she saw my msn those history record that i chat with msn gals. yes i admit i took num from them last time . but since i with u . i had less on9 . i din even did it anymore . why u wanna b so frustrated when u see so . its Aug or Sept records.
She wants breakup again .just few hours things can change badly. I send her home that night . i was crying while driving . she dun even care . she dun even listen . she dun even let me touch her . hold her . i couldn't do anything . She went home & we din contact fer few days .

I wonder why gal can change that fast. I was sick on the next day . i dun hav credit anyway . i couldn't msg her . call her . was on my bed all the days . But what she did is couple with another guy ? She said she had family prob. no mood . but do u hav mood to couple with another guy that time ? I reli speechless. She said i was late . ii was begging her from Sun - till today / tonight . What she told me is Giv Up On me . I couldn't accept . Reli suffering .
I guess there is no worthliving anymore for me .this is nt what i hope .i gav her everything i can give this 2 weeks. what she gav me is this . breaking my heart into pieces n crush everything . Now , i reli duno what to do . i feel empty . She thought i was strong . On the surface i m strong enough , deep in my heart eu will never know. I m stil crying n crying for her . ii guess god punish me for dump her last time .But i thought god gav me 2nd chance to reclaim her back n did well this time . i cant imagine , everything is gone . i feel as much lonely as what she felt last time . Yen Ming . Ng Yee Hoe will loves u forever n ever. This would b my last words for her .

ii dun mind spending everyday .
out on your corner in the pouring rain.
look for the girl with the broken smile.
ask her if she wanna stay a while.
And she will b loved.
she will b loved.
by : Maroon 5

i swear i will wait for u . i will . i blieve there is stil future for us .

C r a p ~ !

2008-09-07T10:44:00.003+08:00

awww , yesterday i went to gym wif DK & CY x)
Almost half & hour onlyy there =]
DOing all those hardcore muscle's building , fun ~ xD
well can't deny that its Fcuking hard & all i get is muscle pain todayy -_- "
Then da club want close jorr (:
We went to JJ a while & they intend to watch late movies (: but at last minutes i received
Anson & Feeder call andd messages xP Luckily eu guys saved me =D
Then went to WN hav a few round of DOTA ~ holyy crap ~!
Win all round , but .. lose da last round , WTF ? ? Bully ppl so fun but kena bully back at last -_- "
Then go back home around 3 am + + x)
That was great =D but i had a bodyache when i wake up this morning = = " CRAP ! ~

GrateFul Night

2008-08-30T01:58:00.002+08:00

Went warnet after finish workin (:
dotaing there alone at 1st den anson & wai joe came . x)
dun kei said came later but at last too late d . ask him dun come jor.
Feeder play1 round den ciao jor ~
but still happyyy x]

After Finish last match went to eat "Fatman Steambot" wif Anson ^^
WoW ~ ! NiCE !! xD
eat dou full full onlyy go home ^^

Tomorrow would b a fun day (:
keke. ^^ Happy National day ! Malaysian .
Nights

Bad Dream

2008-08-28T12:00:00.002+08:00

i had a bad dream yesterday ...
couldn't sleep well. feel stress.
woke up around 2++ & try to get some sleep again. apparently cant sleep jor -_-"
den went on9 play game a while. feels tired by then ,
trying to sleep again around 3++ & slept jor xD

today wake up late. 7.30 onlyy wake up .
ii dinn giv her a morning call today . i m sry . but she wouldnt even care ~
anyway . thanks muii (:
i will try to forget her. ^^

Morning Call

2008-08-25T06:28:00.002+08:00

Today ish mondayy =]
As i promised eu , i would give eu a morning call every skol-ing dayys x)
wake Up ~ !! sei zhu xD

Anyway , i guess i stil miss her a lots.
i couldn't deny that how much i love eu yet we are apart now .
why i hav to suffer all this ? bUt she is still having her happy lifee.
i guess loving sumone is the best to let go nt to hold on.

i love eu once. =] i think its best time to let go .
i stil love eu though , but wad can i do to hold eu . ~
g0oOshhh . i work 7++ now 6.30+ nia @@ "
No wonder feel tired dou. stil can blogging xD ~
hahahas . i go take a nap sin larh ^^
nights (: mwahs

I m Waiting ferr You

2008-08-24T10:52:00.003+08:00

I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~
I m waiting ferr you ~
ii will keep my love to you till the day comes. ~

Lo0ks Fine Or WaD ?

2008-08-24T10:40:00.003+08:00

Anson , i may lo0ks fine when i go out wif eu all .
but fact , i juz duwan to go out wif eu guys with a sad face.
i m nt tough at all. i still luv her a lots . missing her .

Trying to b happy wif eu guys (:
but nt to myself . wad am i suffering anyway ?
mayb its time to let go ?
but why i couldnt forget her ? ! SHIT .

You don't know wads the feeling likes ,
When eu treat sumone so gud so nice . Then break his heart apart .
In Fact , i face that twice already . I don't know wad could i do fer her .
At least . she asked me to leave her alone . i did .
How many days more i can hold on ?

XiiaoTing , hopes eu r fine always & take care .

Hopes eu will happy everyday (:

A Bright New Day Begins

2008-08-23T09:34:00.002+08:00

i noe i hav to b tough n get through the hardest time .
BE TOUGH!!! x)
thanks my frens (: for supporting me this few days
Anyway , nothing is more important than frens (: frens are the best xD
Lurb ya alllllll!!!!!!

xixi ^^

gTg Segambut to work (: buhbyes ~

Last Moments

2008-08-23T01:16:00.001+08:00

i made up my mind.
i given up on her .
i noe no matter what i do she won't be coming back to me.
fainted fer ntg . starvation fer ntg. suffering fer ntg. tiring fer NTG! !
why she could still be so FINE ? She has no feeling at all ?
i wonder yy gals r acting these way . or there is a different class kind of ppl ?
i been msg n keep calling eu since morning , afternoon n till night !
All you could say is ntg .
i m so fcuking broked . my heart is damaged .

i M sUffEringg

2008-08-22T01:54:00.002+08:00

i feel suffer .
been wandering whole night . Thnx to Anson n Feeder pui me go dota. Let go myy sadness. but in fact. i m still the same .
i guess tonight & this few weeks. it would b the longest night in my lifee to go on without u.
thnx fer caring me bibe. reli appreciate it . thnx to michelle tuhh.
i guess i m not tough all the way through . no one has been perfect. why hav to think of their own needs ?
human is always sellfish . x]

g00shhh!! i went to Hong Leong bank n withdraw money tak dapat = ="
transaction cancelled. W T F ? sMash eu sampai kasi duit baru tau xD
anyway i guess late night d tak da duit kot ? -_-"

- T h e E n d -

Sweett 3 DAYS , Bitterr 2 DAYS

2008-08-21T11:53:00.001+08:00

16 Aug 2008 , Saturday
i meet "her" . We went to TS , Bought movie ticket "ROUGE"
We had drinks at GASOLINE. i gave her a gift. its a Melody Necklace .
Then we sees movie at 4.00pm .
After that we went to SGW. ii dare myself to tell her that i love her . & wants her to b a part of my lifee.
mayb its a bit dumb act ~ but who cares ?
She meet her buddies n babes there.
We went to yum cha after that at Kepong . went to fetch her's frens & go to mamak to hav a drink .
Later we went to Desa Park City hav a walk .
its reli a sweet saturday ferr me (:
i Went home after fetching them back . its a tiring day . but worth .

17 Aug 2008 , Sunday
11.00 pm i fetch Kenji back to Setapak .
Hav lunch wif him till 1.30 pm .
Rush to Kepong to find "her" & gone 1Utama wif her fren [2 couple]
Went to Sing K at Neway till 6 ++
Gone back to Kepong & fetch Fish & go to Langat Hill .
Having a prob with da direction & got lost . Then "her" ex guide us there. It was dark & dangerous road.
Her ex is driving fast in the night and i m following , i hav to rush to catch-up with them .
She hold my hand tight (: i hold her hand tight too (:
She was angry at him but i said its doesnt matter .
At Last we reach Langat Hill . The view is great . but its already late when we reach there.
We eat up there & chat for a while.
i Send them back n her . Stop in front of her hse . & watching her went in makes me feel so sad.
another tiring day .

18 Aug 2008 , Monday
Evening after finished work . i went back n hav a bath ,
Gone Kepong again to find her. yum cha tonight .
Wif 3 couple include us . We went to Desa Park City a while ,
Then went to KTM station wait fer Fish GF comes back from work .
Then we drive to Desa Park City again. Time passes so fast , its almost 12 already .
We have to head home . Her mum's call . Dad's r home . so hav to go home early.
Its doesnt matter even its tiring . i feel happy to c her . having her by my side.
wad else i could ask for ?

19 Aug 2008 , Tuesday
Evening after finished work , i head to find her again . but she was unable to comes out .
i bought a couple ring ferr us . disappointment . heading back to Klang .
Gone out Warnet wif Anson N Feeder comes along . Played till 12 +
i m sry din chat wif her that night . i wonder if she feels lonely.
so am i .

20 Aug 2008 , Wednesday
I went to Malacca job at morning , msg her n called her . she still sleeping i guess.
She woke up n i called her , she closed my call n msg me she is moody duwan to talk wif me .
i duwan to make her moody or angry so i let her calm .
18:19 pm i msg her . she replied. i asked her why moody , she tell me coz add maths homework she been moody whole afternoon .
She wants on9 so i dun disturb her . i start my work .
i msg her again at 19:38, she was having a dinner wif her family . i said i duwan disturb her wif family msg me if free.
Then i head home at 8.00pm my job done .
21:20 she msg me . ["Deric , sorry. We break up bah. i think i would prefer single life. so sorry"]
i almost lose control while driving .
Just bcoz u think u're bad u could b with me ? how can u think such a stupid dump thing.
Did i treat u not gud enough ? Or did i do sumthing wrong ?
i sworn i luv eu more than eu luv me . more than anyone else do . i reli couldnt live without u .
i could do anything for u. but why do u leave me ?
u r hurting me a lots. u wont feel sad. eu dun noe wads da feeling of being hurt.
i reli think of commit suicide since the time eu tell me eudun love me at all .
mayb the scar isnt deep enough .

21 Aug 2008 , Thursday [ Today ]
i wake up late today . i been cried fer whole night . reli nid eu that time. slept at 4+
my bed is full of "blood" , i been thinking . who cares if i died .
she wont care me anymore .
i m blogging this today as our memories. eventhough its onlyy 5 days .i never regret having eu by my side this 5 days.
i m not perfect guy that u might want . but my heart only hav u .

Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest

2008-07-02T11:38:00.000+08:00

i dreamed I was missin , you were so scared .
but no one would listen , cause no one else cared .
after my dreaming , i woke with this fear .
What am I leavin , when I'm done here?

So if you're askin me , I want you to know .

When my time comes , forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed .
Don't resent me , and you're feeling empty .
Keep me in your memory , leave out all the rest .

Leve out all the rest , don't be afraid
I've taken my beating , I've shared what I made .
I'm strong on the surface , not all the way through
I've never been perfect , but neither have you .

So if you're asking me , I want you to know

When my time comes , forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed .
Don't resent me , and you're feeling empty .
Keep me in your memory , leave out all the rest .

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are.

When my time comes , forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed .
Don't resent me , and you're feeling empty .
Keep me in your memory , leave out all the rest
leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are.

I can't be who you are.

hu' I AM ?

2008-07-02T11:32:00.000+08:00

too much suffer i had been through . too much sorrow i gets.
1 words. LIFE does SUCKssss .
Happy Burfday Eric.

Feelin' emptyness. I looks strong on the surface, not all the way through .
I've never been perfect but neither have you.
its like never being who i am . Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself. Forgeting all the hurt inside that i've learned to hide so well .

I can't be who you are.
I can't be strong as you are.

sigh *

1st JUNE 2008

2008-06-02T23:13:00.001+08:00

Happiest Day inn A Year ^^
maii babyy accept me today xD i wish tuhh b wif her fer ever (:
mwahs . lurb eu ^^

2008-05-21T22:31:00.001+08:00

Today is eur BURFDAY, i getting tired day by day. tired of my work. Plan tuh going to Setapak & stay wif Kenji & find a work , starting a new life there. ii m lack of attention from my family nowdays. Seems troubling . If is that so . i can leave. i miss eu . i called eu tonight coz i had a important things to say to u. "Happy Burfday" Never think that eu will noe so fast thats me. I hear ur voice , seems having a gud life. i feel hurt, sad but happyy. U will never thought how much i still miss u & love u. i went eur skul few times last month. mayb u din notice me. but i saw eu. U looks fine wif eur frens. i could juz onli look at u from far away. i hope eu having ur happy life. (: feel happy for u. i finally gave u back ur smiles that eu had missed for long time. I never wanna leave u but . my heart says i shud . since u unhappy wif me. i will never denied that eu r my whole life. (:

Work Like CoW!!

2008-05-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

soon i m going tuhh die ._. today work like cow. Whole day ketuk ketuk = ="
at last i have a nice rest . [12.20am] xP anyway its a precious day. get doubled paid worhs xD
worth worth ^^
Tml going tuhh sG.Wang must sleep earlier (:
nights . mwahs xP

GG xD

2008-05-16T09:08:00.000+08:00

WHOA ! Yesterday KAK HAO's Wedding Night ! ALL BRO MABUK GILA . . . xD miie oso xP
Drink 2 bottle of Henesy(S.Form) Sei Pui Kia pour ferr mie 2 glass kao kao punya. no add water. juz ice (: drink jor oso shuang shuang xD Hrm but still okie at 1st. Den da main reason making so drunk & headache its da carbonated drinks we add. Such as Sprite & Sarsi. LolS. Me , Ah Pui , Shin Yew , Feeder , Ah Kau , Drunk macam sohai gila. = ="

But its a great night (: whole life bro's / once in a lifetime xD
forr those driving no alcohol pls. =P
AND thnx tuhh SHUN MING sending me home safely .
Best Wishes to Kak Hao ! Hope eu had all the hapiness in eur life (:

Accident LAGI!

2008-05-11T14:48:00.000+08:00

Arrghh !! accident again yesterday Night . On the way going tuhh Anson hse. So bad luckk larhs . call interupted & msg. Misalerted . & crush the Iswara till HANCUR! xD
Aiks. Next time cant answer call & msg in car jor =P

Day full of sorrow.

2008-05-07T21:15:00.000+08:00

feel so sad today , i saw da stamp eu giv to me. tears start to fill in my eyes. i guess i stil love u & miss u a lots. I reli feel guilty for leaving u alone. but i reli dun like ur attitude. hope eu can change . I m waiting . keep waiting. but i saw eu view my profiles today .i feel sry. & relieve. see u going through a gud life now. eu enjoy ur single life. i feel crying . i hold tight da bear eu giv to me . everynight. when sleeping , i hold tight myy ring. thinking of eu . i cant bare da pain inside of me. crying isnt enough to relieve da pain. wad else can i do . I guess i still love u. Even we are apart. There is still deep memories inside my head, keep screening my vision. ii trying to forget eu by hoping to find new couple. i guess its useless. The feeling is diff. i cant even like sumone else. my heart is still at ur side. i feel lonely. lonely . & lonely. i even gone through da hardest way & path . which without u every night. i know u break da postpaid sim card since dat day. i could forgive u, since u did that. our destiny its already at the end. but i reli cant let it go . i felt into depth darkness. I cant find my way out . i m . Damned.

What A Tiring Day!

2008-05-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

FUIYOHHH!!! tired sia today !
Yesterday [Saturday] went to Asia 3+ Onli reach home & take a nice sleep. This morning
9am. maii mum called me asked me go PASAR ! walao. eyes cant even open . DEAD FISH .
back home bout 12 & asked KENJI & ERIC go tuhh Sunway Pyramid xD Unfortunately Feeder gg. gastric . lols. kesian. But ERIC oso din go. hrm ME & Kenji spend 2 hour plus at there walking around & back to Klang tuhh find ERIC go AEON Bkt. Tinggi. At 7 + WE went up ASIA CAFE ferr dinner = =" & at LAST dota at FTZ ferr 1 round . Win the match xD
Now all is safely return & sleep ferr tiredness ! (:

G o N e S.Pyramid Watch "IRONMAN"

2008-05-04T02:33:00.000+08:00

whoa ! wad a nice movie (: IRONMAN ! eu muz go n watch it ! its da master piece of hollywood movie ! xD
F e e D e r
K e N j i
E r i c
Thnx ferr accompany for this saturday's night (:
lols. we sit at this "couple seats" but we r all male ._."
xD kenji "untung" a bit coz got gal sit beside him (:

Its was a fine & great nights though (:
Nites.

ii miss herr a lots .

2008-05-03T19:44:00.000+08:00

ii miss eu a lots . i feel borings . & missing eu all days. juz hoping eu r fine . msg eu to care eu . call eu to hear eur lovely voice. (: but u din't ): i admit i m imperfect. mayb eu think i m messy & annoyin' . ii m sry. ): but it can't helpp since eu love someone , deeply & truly. i cant bare all these pain held inside me. ii nid eu . To release the pain & suffer inside me. U're myy medicine. & i'm taking every dose of eu everyday. I ain't care what eu looks bout me. i know this is "me"
MYSELF , & myy attitude & myy lifee. Since eu came into myy life , i see lights. U r myy "light" & pull me out of darkness. Myy Angel (: myy heart. myy voice. myy soul.

Boring Days

2008-05-02T10:34:00.000+08:00

siGh! wat er boring days ): feel dying & its so hot ! fuiyoh !
Dam iT myy car g0t driven to Johor by supervisor for OUTSTATION , TIAOs
if nt i m already OUT from dA HOUSE !
When maii babyy going tuhh come back xD miSs eu sia =P

X U C I - F A M I L Y

2008-05-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

i m honestt , i m kindd , whenever you see me . I m as silents as grave. but u ain't know me well. i have myy resolution . dignityy. self-guard. its our X U C I symbolize of reputation. Feels proud myy "brothers" . We r ONE bigg Family. Fwens Forever (: We r far from each others , our heart are close & combine as one. Growth stronger everytime we pass through each days. Farewell myy BROTHERS . TAKE CARES (:

- F e e d e r
- A n s o n
- K e n j i
- D u n K e i
- E r i c
- w O l F aka A h K a u
- S n A k e
- K e v i n
- L u c a s
- C h u n Y u e n
- E n i x
- A a v e n
- S h i n Y e w
- A n d r e w
- Y e u T a t
- W e i C h y e
- H o c k S o n g
- L e e Y a p
- F o o k L o o n G
- A n d A l l T h e B r o t h e r s (: